Standing Strong in Your Convictions

In youth on Sunday, one of my youth pastors, Mr. Joe, gave our lesson. He's such a great youth pastor because he can really relate to us. He knows what we're going through, and he knows exactly where to look for the advice he wants to give us: the Bible. In all honestly, I couldn't tell you exactly what the lesson was about on Sunday. Bits and pieces caught my attention, and I've always had the mindset that if something stands out to you and you can remember it, it was probably important. At youth, we talk about the tough issues, the issues all teenagers are facing these days. Abortions, pre-marital sex, drugs, alcohol... probably some pretty touchy subjects in most households. However, if anything, we need to be able to talk about them with someone.

The two topics that really stood out to me were abortion and saving yourself for marriage. The Bible points out that both things are wrong. I bet you didn't know that in North Carolina alone over 70 abortions are performed each day. Seriously? That's staggering to me.
Pslam 139 states, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful......... All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." That is so amazing to me. GOD created ME in my mama's womb. HE knows what each of my days will hold; He has always known. What an awesome God I'm serving! The debate with abortion is when a baby actually has life, and to me I think this Bible verse points it out perfectly. GOD CREATED YOU in your mother's womb. You were a creation, a living thing.
I have a heart for people who are thinking about abortions because they feel they have no other way out. They're scared their parents will get mad at them. They're scared of losing their friends, their abilities to do certain things, just everything. I want you to know if you're reading this and you're thinking about getting an abortion, God has a plan for you and Heaven's little creation inside you. Put your life in God's hands and He will direct you where He wants you to go. Don't be afraid. Always remember: All the days ordained for YOU were written in HIS book before they ever present themselves in your life. Just hang on. God will guide you through it.

True love waits. How many of you have heard or seen this slogan in your life? It's sad that that's all it has become: a slogan. If you don't know what I'm talking about, true love waits means that you're saving yourself for marriage. 1 Thessalonians tells me, "Each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable." This is the Bible verse that relates to true love waits. As a teenager, decisions are bound to be made that can alter the plan that God has for our lives. Sex before marriage is a tangled web. As Mr. Joe put it in his lesson, "Unless you're ready to marry them and make them a parent, you shouldn't have relations with them."
I've seen the toll that pre-martial sex can take on someone's life. It's a whole mix of emotions and attachments that cannot be easily forgotten. Two will become one flesh (1 Corinthians 6:16). I think that is the part people forget when they decide to give his/her whole body to someone else. Once you have sex with someone, that person gets to keep a part of you, a part of your heart. It can be detrimental to your happiness. I'm no one to point fingers; I'm the chief of all sinners.
As a Christian, you have to stand strong in your convictions. Don't let someone talk you into something that you know you don't want to do or that you can't handle. Be a person after God's own heart; what better reward could you strive for? The way Mr. Joe concluded his lesson was by giving us hope in a dark world: "When you're being tempted, just remember: What better gift could you give your husband or wife than your pure self? That is love in its purest form."


I guess what I'm trying to say in all my rambling is you should let God lead your life. If you're making or have made decisions that are life changing and you feel like you can't go back, you can go back. God will love you today, tomorrow, and always. There is nothing you can do that can make Him not love you anymore. It's the best love in the world. Let God lead you to the person He wants you to be with. He has someone out there for you, someone who is absolutely perfect for you. Have patience and He'll show you them in His own time. Trust God with all you do, and His plan will far exceed any plans you have for yourself. YOU ARE GOD'S BEAUTIFUL CREATION... never, ever forget that! <3

negative to positive

Well it has just been one of those days... one of those where you can't seem to do anything right and you feel like everyone hates you. I'm normally a very positive person, but today was just hard for me. I guess a lot of things have been burdening my heart lately. I'm really failing at giving all my problems to God lately. I know that if I would just do that, He would fight my battles for me. I'm just having a problem with trust lately. Actually, I've always had a problem with trust. I know how silly that is when it comes to God, but it's just hard sometimes.

I just wanted to come home from school today and sleep for a long time. Normally when I'm in a bad mood, I like to sleep. Today I couldn't go to sleep. I think what I really needed was to talk to someone who would make me feel better. Someone who would make me smile even through all the mess that was going on. I'm lucky I have a person, a couple people, like that in my life.

Today, Al Rising was that person for me. Every day he's my person, but I really needed a smile today and he gave me one without even trying. It's moments like those that I realize how lucky I am. I've been so blessed with everything and everyone in my life. Even on the bad days, I have so much to be thankful for. And people always say you have to have bad times to appreciate the good ones. I'm all about turning the negative into the positive. Today was nothing like how I planned it, but it ended up being great. God is always in control!

the best kind of love..

If I'm being completely honest, I've only given my testimony one time. It was last April in front of my church, where I feel safe. I knew everyone understood exactly where I was coming from when I stood up there, knees shaking, about to have a panic attack. They knew my heart. It was my comfort zone. I have to break away from that. I have to step outside of my comfort zone to be the Christian and the missionary that God wants me to be. I always thought to be a missionary you have to travel to other countries and reach people that way. I'm realizing, though, that there are people that sit next to me in class or I pass by in the hallway that haven't been witnessed to. So for anyone who takes the time to read this, here is my testimony; a glimpse of the deepest part of my heart...

I have grown up with the most loving, caring, understanding, nurturing family. They have always given me anything I've ever needed or wanted. I was spoiled, if you want to put it that way. My mama and daddy showed me how to be a good person by their own actions and words. They taught me how to be humble and kind, how to be caring and compassionate. They gave me the world, or so I thought. I never really knew something was missing until later on.

I was a little bit of a brat when I was growing up. I could be mean, sometimes. I'm sure I got on everyone's nerves, hurt countless people's feelings. In middle school especially, I couldn't have cared less about anyone. When I was in 7th grade, my grandfather, who I called Poppie, was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. On October 24, 2007, the doctors told him he had six months to live. You don't get news like that and it not change your whole life. He was a man of God, so he knew his healer was going to work things out for him, whether it be here or in Heaven. He was a fighter. He never gave up. Then, on April 23, 2008, almost six months to the day, my Poppie took his last breath. At the time, I didn't understand why he had to go. I didn't understand what happened to him once he took that last breath. I didn't have any assurance in my life.

A situation like that makes you humble, and that is exactly what it did to me. It made me more humble than I had ever been. In 8th grade, yet another obstacle hit my path: my other grandfather had a life changing event take place in his life. He woke up one morning and could barely breathe. His esophagus had ruptured. There was only one doctor in all of North Carolina that had ever dealt with a problem like this before, so my mom rode in the helicopter with him as they air lifted him to Chapel Hill. One of the longest weeks of my life, up until that point. They didn't even give him the chance of making it, but he did. It was a miracle. For the past three years now he has been on a feeding tube, but he's been here. A miracle. 

Two moments like that back to back really change you. Once I got to high school, I began caring so much for people. I had an ample amount of compassion in my heart. I met new friends. My whole demeanor completely changed. I was introduced to my best friend, Lexi, in October of my Freshman year. She invited me to her youth group's Christmas party in December. I thought I would tag along, and I ended up having a lot of fun. As much fun as it was, I didn't end up going back at first. Then I met a boy. As ashamed as I am, when I started going back to church it was for that boy. However, I am thankful for that boy because if it weren't for my unfailing crush on him, I wouldn't have ever found the love of my life.

Vacation Bible School at Jennies Branch Baptist Church the summer of 2010 was unlike anything I've ever seen. It was transforming. At commencement at the end of VBS, the youth group did a "skit" called Cardboard Testimonies. On the front of a piece of cardboard, you wrote something about your life before you knew Christ. On the back of the cardboard, you wrote something about your life after you were saved. Everyone seemed to know what to write on their boards. I didn't though. I didn't have a "testimony." I didn't know Christ. When it came time for me to step up and show the congregation my board, the front said "Scared to follow Jesus" and the back said "Need prayer."

Six simple words. Six words that changed my life. Even though I didn't know it at the time, the prayer warriors starting calling out to their Savior. From what I was told, I had people in other counties, other states, praying for me. One thing I've learned in my life: PRAYER WORKS!

VBS commencement was July 30, 2010. Two weeks later, on August 15, 2010, God pulled on my heart. My pastor was preaching a sermon about Moses, and he said something that caught my attention: "I've been by people's sides as they leave this world. The ones who have the blessed assurance of Christ leave this world so peacefully. The ones who don't have that assurance struggle to leave. They know what lies ahead for them." That brought me to my knees. I accepted God into my life that day, and nothing has been the same since.

I'm happier than I've ever been. I have more peace than I ever thought was possible. I have an assurance in my heart that no one will ever be able to take away. I met the love of my life on that day. His love is the best kind of love I've ever experienced. It has completely filled me, and to this day, is still overflowing. My God is faithful. My God is kind, generous, loving, loyal, unfailing, merciful... the list goes on and on.

I'm not saying there won't be hard times because there will be. While I've been a Christian, I've suffered through the worst heart break of my life. I have been ridiculed and hurt. My grandfather whose esophagus ruptured was put back in the hospital, with no hope of living again. Yet, once again, he made it out and is still here with my family today. God works miracles. At the same time, God does things that sometimes we don't understand. A month after my grandfather was taken out of the hospital, my perfectly healthy grandmother, my Maw-Maw, passed away unexpectedly. She had a massive heart attack. I'm still dealing with that, but I know God had a reason for it. He has a reason for everything. Even through the trials and tribulations, He will always overcome in the end.  

He has blessed me with plenty in the time I've known Him. He has given me some of the best friends I could have ever asked for. He has given me a man of God that loves me. He has blessed my life with the things He wants for me. He is my Father. I know He wants me to share His unfailing and unconditional love with everyone else. He is the most wonderful part of my life.

I have a long way to go. I have a lot to learn and study. He transforms my heart everyday. He gives me more kindness and patience each day I follow Him. He gives me the words I need to talk to people about Him. He guides me down the path He wants for my life. He has a plan for me, and for you, and He wants that plan to happen for you. He won't ever give up on you. If you feel like God has given up on you, it wasn't God that gave up. It was you. God is by your side, even when you think He isn't. He's faithful. He will never leave or forsake you.

Just let Him transform your heart. Let Him take control of your life and let Him into your heart. It will be the best decision you've ever made. You won't ever regret it. His love is the best kind of love. Give it a chance. I promise you'll fall so deeply in love with Him. I know I did.

favorite people

I feel like we forget to tell the people in our lives how much they mean to us while we still have the chance. here goes nothing... :)

Day Six: Top 10 favorite people and why...

In no particular order:

Mama and Daddy- You guys will always be my favorite people. You brought me into this world, and I have no doubt you can take me out. You have given me everything I've ever needed or wanted. You've pretty much spoiled me to no end, but you've also taught me how to be humble. You both give me so much to look forward to in my future because you've given me the foundation I need to be the best person I can be. I'm eternally grateful, and I love you guys so much.

Kayla and Courtney- You guys are like one person to me as well because you both share a piece of my heart. I couldn't have asked for better sisters, or friends. I know I can tell both of you anything, and you won't judge me or get mad or make me feel stupid. You two are both as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. You both are my role models. I'm so glad I've been able to live and learn from both of you. You teach me something new every day. I love you with all my heart.

Al Rising- Every single day when I wake up, I think about you. Whether I get to see you or not that day doesn't really matter to me because I know I'm fortunate enough to have you in my life for another day. You always give me something to look forward to. You are the love of my life and the light of my world. I couldn't imagine my life without you. You always give me a reason to smile and laugh. You brighten up my whole world. You've never given up on me, and you love me unconditionally. I couldn't ask for anyone to love me any better. You're an angel, and I'm the luckiest girl in the world. I love you, always and forever.

Cynthia Bolanos- I don't even know where to begin. You have been by my side since day one. Through all the petty middle school, and even high school, drama you have never left me. You're one of the few people I know I can trust with anything. You are the most understanding and loving person I've ever met. You are the most faithful friend I've ever had. I miss you so much. I know we aren't as close anymore, but I'd do anything to be as close as we used to be. No matter where we go or what happens, I'll always be here for you. You'll always be my best friend, my soul sister. No one can take your place. I love you, to infinity and beyond.

Lexi Dobbins- You are my sunshine. I know we hate each other most of the time, but it's because we're so different. However, as much as we fight, I couldn't imagine a day without you. You're the best friend I've ever had. You always listen to me, comfort me, discipline me... you just know me. Even when I don't want to listen to your advice, I know you have my best interest at heart and vice versa. You make me laugh every day, and not many people can do that. You are such a big and important part of my life. I love you more than you know, don't ever forget that.

Khalil Gore- I would just like to tell you that AGAIN today someone thought we were dating! We seriously have to stop ;) You'll never know how much you mean to me and how much I appreciate you being here for me like you are. You are such a great friend to me, even when I don't deserve it. I know I can always count on you for anything. You're the kindest and most generous person I've ever met. I'm so lucky to have you in my life and be able to call you my best friend. I love the relationship we have. I love how you understand me, even when I don't really know what's going on with me. You're the best, Khalil. I love you.

Myron Gore- You will always be my favorite person. No matter how much time goes by without us talking or seeing each other, you will always have a big place in my heart. You were my first best friend, and you're my forever best friend. I never worry about our friendship because we can always pick back up from where we left off. I do miss seeing your face and having our classic "Myron and Morgan" talks. I'll always be here for anything you need. I can't believe we've been friends for 12 years. I wouldn't trade them for anything. I love you bestfriend <3

Lilly Willis- I love how close we've been getting lately. You are the most beautiful person I've ever met, inside and out. You have a heart of gold, and I absolutely adore that in you. I know I can come to you with anything, and you'll do everything in your power to help me. You inspire me so much. You help me grow in my relationship with God by the love of God I see in your eyes. You are such a good friend to me, and I hope our friendship continues to grow. You're an angel, Lillian Willis. I don't know what I'd do without you. I love you so much.

Day Five...

Everything you wish for in a significant other

I know I'm a little behind in my blogging, but I decided to start back up.

When you're a little kid, boy or girl, you dream of the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. They have certain qualities about them that draw you to them, even if it is just in your dreams. You can picture almost everything about them. Just remember the feeling you'd get whenever you'd see them in your dreams. Remember the feeling you would have when you woke up the next morning. Take the feeling and multiply it by a million. That's how it feels when the person of your dreams becomes a reality.

The boy from my dreams was kind. He was smart. He was hilarious. He had a personality that could bring a sense of relief to any room. He had a smile that could light up the whole world. He was beautiful. He had so much confidence. He had eyes that could literally melt your heart. He was the most precious thing you could ever meet, and when I was little, I hadn't even had the pleasure of meeting him yet.

Kenneth Allen Rising III.
Just a name. A name I'd heard a thousand times. A name that was mentioned here and there when I was around certain friends. The name given to the person who changed my whole life.

Meeting the person of your dreams is a surreal experience. The moment you realize who he is to you your whole life changes. It sounds like something out of a movie, but it's like gravity isn't holding you here anymore. The boy from all my dreams from when I was little, the boy who I thought about whenever I watched love stories had come into my life with such impact that I knew he was what was holding me here.

My soul mate, my better half, my best friend is what is holding me here. He's beautiful. He the most kind-hearted person you'll ever meet. He's incredibly funny, with the best sense of humor. He has the most warming smile. I can look into his beautiful, blue eyes - the color of the ocean - and see my whole future. He's more than precious. He is a man of God, one who leads me every day. We're growing together, and each day I'm with him is one more day I have to fall in love with him. He's perfect, maybe not to everyone else, but to me. I couldn't have asked for someone better. Even my wildest dreams, even the ones from when I was little, couldn't have shown me someone as wonderful as Al Rising. He is everything I've ever wanted in my significant other.

He's just everything. And I'm the luckiest girl in the world.